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Bugbee's Popular Plays 



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Polly at 
Sunsnine Cottage 



By 
Willis N. Bugbee 



Price 35 Cents 



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The Willis N. Bugbee Co. 

SYRACUSE, N. Y. 



THE BUGBEE ENTERTAINMENTS 

ARE FAVORITES EVERYWHERE 



Polly at Sunshine Cottage. Comedy in 3 acts by Willis 
N. Bugbee. A very true-to-life village play. All parts good. 
7m., 7f. Time, 1% hours. 35 cents. 

Elder Jenkins' Reception. Negro farce in 1 act. Suit- 
able for any school, society or church. Nothing vulgar. 7m., 
8f. Time, 1 hour or longer. 25 cents. 

Field Day at Higglnsvllle. A play in 2 acts for eighth 
grade people. Lively and full of fun. 8m., 7f. (and supers). 
Time, 1 hour or longer. 25 cents. 

Last Day at Center Ridge School. Novelty play in 2 
acts by Annette L. Smith. One of the best old district school 
plays. ' 8m., 9f. Time, 1^ hours or longer. 35 cents. 

Adoption of Bob, The. A play in 1 act for eighth grade 
pupils by Marie Irish. Katie, Ghloe and Wang make lots of 
fun. 4m., 6f. Time, 30 minutes. 25 cents. 

Community Stunts and Novelty Features. A dandy new 
book for community entertainments. Directions for fair, old 
settlers' convention, etc., etc. 35 cents. 

Peggy of Primrose Farm. Comedy in 3 acts by Willis N. 
Bugbee. A delightful rural play that fits any occasion. 6m., 
6f. Time 1% hours. 35 cents. 

Arrival of Reuben, The. College comedy in 1 act by 
Willis N. Bugbee. The theft of a suit of clothes causes a 
great commotion. 5m., 5f. Time 1 hour. 35 cents. 

Priscilla's Room. Farce in 1 act by Louise L. Wilson. 
Priscilla gains possession of the room by a clever ruse. Full 
of action. 4m., 2f. Time, 30 minutes. 25 cents. 

Tom Thumb Circus. A dandy little entertainment for the 
very little people. Introduces the principal features of a 
circus. Any number of characters. 25 cents. 

The Deacon's Honeymoon. Comedy in 3 acts by Willis N. 
Bugbee. Full of fun and a bit of mystery. Not sentimental. 
6m., 5f. Time, 1% hours. 35 cents. 

Daddy and the Co-Eds. College comedy in 2 acta by 
Willis N. Bugbee. "Daddy" visits college and has a good 
time. 6m., 6f. Time, 1%. hours. 35 cents. 

Some Class. Commencement play in 4 acts by Edith F. 
A. U. Painton, 6m., 9f. Claimed to be the best commencement 
play on the market. Full of good healthy humor. Time 1 
hour 40 minutes. 35 cents. 

Aunt Sophronia at College. College comedy in 3 acts by 
Willis N. Bugbee. One of the best short plays we have ever 
offered. Full of fun from start to finish. 5m., 7f. Time, 1^ 
hours. 35 cents. ^ 



THE WILLIS N. BUGBEE CO., SYRACUSE, N. Y. 



Bugbee^s Popular Plays 

Polly at 

Sunsnine Cottage 



By 
Willis N. Bugbee 

Avlhor of "The Deacon's Honeymoon" "Billy's Aunt Jane, 
''Peggy of Primrose Farm/' "Aunt Sophronia at Col- 
lege;' "CoonvUle 'Ristocrat Club," "Arrival 
of Reuben," "Daddy and the Co-eds" 
etc., etc. 



Copyright, 1922, by Willis N. Bugbee 



THE WILLIS N. BUGBEE CO 

SYRACUSE, N. Y. 



Polly at Sunshine Cottage g- 



-^K-i-' 



CHARACTERS - 1^ 

Hiram Simpkins The Village Storekeeper 

Zeb Spooner Tishy's Neighbor and "Friend" 

Bobby Green JiLst back jrorri New York 

B^nzr i ^'"""^ ^'^^ 

Napoleon Johnson A Chore Boy 

Detective Who Failed to Detect 

Polly Ray J The ''Witches" 

Della Ray j 

Emeline Wiggins An Old Maid and Busybody 

TiSHY Green Bobby's Mother 

Molly Spriggs ) y-n q^^i^ 

Sadie Ball ) 

Bridget O'Connor Maid of All Work 

Time — The present. 

Place — Grassvale, U. S. A. 

Time of Playing — One and three-fourth hours or longer. 



COSTUMES 



Hiram— Worn and baggy clothing in Acts I-II. Shabby genteel 
suit in Act III. Sluggers. 

Zeb — Work clothing in Acta I-II. Similar to Hiram in Act III. 
Chin whiskers. 

Bobby — Neat business suit. 

Tom — Overalls, frock, etc., in Acts I-II, and neat dress-up suit 
m Act III. 

BARi^-Ordinary everyday suit in Act II, and neat dress-up suit 
in Act III. 

Napoleon — Any cheap coarse clothing. 

Detective — Business suit. 

Polly and Della — Neat summer dresses. 

Emeline and Tishy — Plain caUco or gingham dresses in Acts I- 
II. More pretentious dresses in Act III. 

Molly and Sadie — Ordinary dresses in Act I. Neat siunmer cos- 
tumes in Acts II-III. 

Bridget— Plain dress for traveling in Act I. Work dress and 
apron in Act III. i ,f J G ? S 1 



m 13 : 



9^^, 



*vo 



Polly at Sunskine Cottage 

ACT I 

Scene: Front of Hi Simpkin's country store. Door at rear with 
sign "GENERAL STORE and POST OFFICE" above it. Ther- 
mometer, advertising posters of soaps, etc., hang on front of store. 
Benches are conveniently arranged for loungers. Hi appears in door- 
way as the curtain rises. He wipes face with handkerchief. 
{The sound of whistling is heard off stage L.) 
(Enter Zeb Spoon er with "paddy" wheelbarrow. Stops at front.) 
Hi. Mornin', Zeb. 

Zeb. Same to you, Hi, Gosh, but ain't it hot! {Mopping face 
with bandanna.) 

Hi. 'Tis slightly warm. 

Zeb. Warm? It's hot enough to frizzle the hair on a houn' dog. 
Wonder how high the mercuiy is. 

Hi. I dunno. Hain't had much time to look at it, so much goin' 
on, {Adjusts glasses and examines it.) Wal, I svi'anl It's 101 
right here in the shade, 

Zeb. I knew it was all-fired hot by the way I've been sweatin'. 
Hi. Wouldn't wonder if it's a leetle mite hotter right here than 
'tis most anywhere else m the neighborhood. 
Zeb. How so? 

Hi. Wal, the rea.-!on's because Emeline Wiggins an' Tishy Green 
are in there right now holdin' a discussion. 

Zeb. What's the matter with Emeline this time? 
Hi. It's about them two Ray gals that's jest moved onto the 
Price place, 

Zeb, Um-m! What about 'em? 

Hi, Why, you see Em was down to the station yesterday when 
they come in on the train an' she says they've got red hair — both on 
'em an' — 

Zeb. Red hair, eh? 

Hi, Yep, an' on the other hand Tishy says she saw 'em goin' 
by her house an' she swears uphill an' down it's auburn. So there 
you be. 

Zeb. Wal, tell 'em for me they're both wrong. 
Hi. Tell 'em for j'^ou? What do you know about it? 
Zeb, Callate T know all about it. Didn't I take 'em up there in 
my flivver? An' ain't I the caretaker of the Price place? 
Hi, I guess you be, but what color is't anyway? 
Zeb, I'll say it's half way 'twixt a terra cotta an' a golden brown. 
Hi, Gosh! That's a new one. What's it Hke? 
Zeb. Something like the color of my garage. 
Hi. Wal, here they come now. Better tell 'em yourself. 

(Enter Emeline and Tishy from store.) 

Zeb. Got it all decided, ladies? 

Em. So Hi Simpkins has been blabbin' again, has he? Yes, I've 
got it all decided — it's a bright red. 



4 POLLY AT SUNSHINE COTTAGE 

TiSHY. Now, Emeline, you know perfectly well it's a beautiful 
auburn, only you ^von't admit it. 

Em. But I say 'taint — it's red an' I know it. 

TiSHY. I think I know auburn when I see it, Emeline. 

Zeb. Then spose'n I should say 'taint neither one, what then? 

Em. Good Lord! What do you know about it? What do you 
know about women's hair? 

Zeb. When you seen them gals goin' by didn't happen to notice 
me settin' between 'em, did ye? 

Both. You? 

Zeb. Yep, me. Who did you callate was drivin' that there om- 
nibus? 

TiSHY. Why we never noticed. I s'pose we was so interested in 
the gals. 

Zeb. Wal, I was right there close to 'em as I could get an' I'll 
say it's more of a golden brown or — 

Em. So's your grandmother a golden brown. 

Hi. Now I'd like to ask you ladies a question. 

Both. Well? 

Hi. What diff'rence does it make whether their hair is red or 
auburn or terra cotta or sky-blue pink providin' of course that the 
gals that own it are real good gals an' tend to their own business as 
they oughter? 

Zeb, That's the idea, exactly. 

Em. But do you know they are real good gals? An' do you 
know if they're goin' to tend to their own business or not? I feel 
kinder spleeny about 'em. 

Hi. I've always considered everybody on the square till they've 
shown themselves to be otherwise. That's my philosophy. 

Em, But it don't look jest right to me for two gals to come 
way off here by themselves an' hve alone as they're doin'. Does it 
to you? 

Hi. Oh I dunno. I've heerd of young women takin' up home- 
steads an' runnin' ranches an' all that sort of thing. Besides I hear 
they've got an old darkey servant comin' to stay with 'em. Looks 
to me's if they're mighty plucky gals. 

Zeb. You bet they be. Mighty good lookin' ones, too. 

Hi. Tut, tut, Zeb, Tishy'll be jealous. 

TiSHY, Hi Simpkins, do you know what you're talkin' about? 

Hi, Talkin' about them gals capturin' Zeb's tender young heart 
if you don't watch out. 

Zeb. Don't anybody need to worry about my heart. But of 
course I have to go up there once in a while bein' as I'm hired to 
keep an eye on the place — to cut the weeds an' trim the hedges an' 
so forth, et cetery an' et celery. 

Em. I think you better look out for yourself. Hi Simpkins. 
Tain't always the young fellers that needs the most watchin'. 

Hi. Now I'm gettin' it from aU sides. Stirred up a hornet's 
neat, b'gosh. Ho ! ho ! he ! he I 

(Enter Molly and Sadie running.) 

Molly. There! I said I could beat you and I've done it. 
Sadie. But not enough to brag about. 



POLLY AT SUNSHINE COTTAGE 5 

Em. Good land I You two act like a couple of kids. Ain't you 
never goin' to be young ladies? 

Molly. Oh we are young ladies now, Mrs. Wiggins, but we 
aren't going to get old and staid before our time. 

Sadie. And I hope we'll never get so stiff and prim that we can't 
have fun. 

Hi. Bully for you ! Always live up to that motto same's I have 
an' you'll be happy. 

TiSHY. Everybody knows you're a regular kid. 

Hi. That's me all over— a sixty year old kid. 

Molly. Oh say ! Do you know those Ray girls have started to 
work in good earnest? They've got the windows all open and all the 
ruga out and half the furniture and they're pegging awav for dear 
hfe. 

Sadie. They appear to be happy even if it is hot for they were 
both singing loud enough to be heard away over to Swanville. My, 
but they've got splended voices! Haven't they, Molly? 

Molly. I should say they have. 

Zeb. Don't s'pose we could get 'em to sing at the strawberry 
social next week, do ye? 

Sadie. Maybe we could. We'll stop and ask them when we go 
back. 

Em. I guess I'd wait a spell an' see how they turn out, I've 
got my doubts about 'em. 

Molly. Oh, you don't think there's anything wrong, do you 
Mrs, Wiggins? 

Em. Wal, of courae I dunno, but you never can tell. I've got 
suspicions. 

Molly. I'm sure I don't envy them living there alone. I've 
heard folks say the house is haunted. Haven't you, Sadie? 

Sadie. Some folks say so but I've never seen or heard anything. 

Em. Ever since Grandma Price was found dead in bed there's 
been spooks there. 

TiSHY. Some say that's why Reuben Price went to Europe— 
to get away from the haunts. 

Zeb. Fiddlesticks! 'Tain't haunted no more'n Hi's store is. I've 
been up there most every day for five years back an' I've never 
seen one yet — don't even know how a haunt looks. 

Em. You ain't up there nights. That's when spooks comes out. 

Zee. Wal-er-no, I dunno's I have been. 

Em. Course not. You're settin' round on Hi's cracker barrels 
everj' night. 

Zeb. Oh come now, Emehne, not every night. You know 
better'n that. 

Em. Wal, every night when you ain't over to Tishy's. 

TisHY. Emehne Wiggins, you needn't go to telhn' tales. We're 
neighbors an' our farms jine each other so why shouldn't he come 
over once in a while — on business of course? 

Hi. That's all right an' proper, Tishy. Jest because one's a 
winsome widder an' tother a lonely widower ain't no cause for gossip, 
an' if you two want to get your heads together an' talk about turnips 
an' hogs an' alfalfa you've got a perfect right to do so 'cordin' to my 
way of thinkin'. 



6 POLLY AT SUNSHINE COTTAGE 

Sadie. Oh, Mr. Simpkins! You're too funny for anything. 

Hi. Wal, ain't it so, gals'? 

Girls. Why-er-yes. 

Hi. An' some old gals I know of that ain't never had a chance 
to be widders would jump at a chance to have a man to talk hogs 
with, eh? 

Em. Hiram Simpkins! If you ain't the worst old carmudgeon 
that ever lived. I jest wish something would happen to you. I-I — 
(stamps foot.) 

Hi. Now, now, don't get unduly excited, Miss Wiggins. You 
might get heart disease, I didn't mention no names, did I? 

Em. But you might jest as well. 

Molly. Dear me! I forgot — ma's waiting for some sugar to 
can her berries with and here I am standing here. 

Sadie. And Aunt Melissa's waiting for some nutmeg to put in 
her pie. 

Hi. Wal, I'll go right in an' get 'em for ye. Atmosphere's 
gettin' almost too warm for me out here. 

(Exeunt Hi, Molly and Sadie into store.) 

TisHY. My land! Ain't it hot! I ain't sweat so much before 
this summer. 

Zbb (looking at thermometer). Wal, by hokey! it's gone up to 
101^/^ now. 'Twas 101 spell ago. 

Em. I jest happened to think about it — if them gals are goin' 
to have a nigger servant why ain't he here now helpin' 'em clean 
house? 

Zeb. He's comin' today. They left him to do some errands in 
the city. Must be most train time now, ain't it? 

TiSHY. I heard the train toot a few minutes ago. 

Em (gazing off L.). Wal, talk about the "old Nick" an' he's 
always on hand. I believe that's him comin' this minute. 

Zeb. Gosh! If that's the "old Nick" he's got most awfully 
tanned. 

Em. Think you're smart, don't ye? 

TiSHY. It is that darkey sure enough. Just think of it — a 
colored man right here in this peaceful neighborhood. Ain't it 
awful! 

Em. It's a downright shame. 

Zeb. Wouldn't wonder if he might be peaceful enough from 
what I hear. He was a servant in their uncle's family for years. 

TiSHY. Look! Who's that woman with him? She ain't colored 
no more'n I am. 

Zeb. That must be Mrs. O'Connor. She's comin' to look arter 
the housework. 

Em. Two servants? Did I ever! 

TiSHY. No, we never I 

(Enter Napoleon and Mrs. O'Conngbs with boxes, hags and 
suitcases.) 

Nap. Well, heah we is. I specs dis am de sto' de gals done tell 
erbout. See dat (reading sign) "General Store an' Pos' OflBce." 
Bridget. Shure an' ye're roight, but a quare lookin' spicimin iv 



POLLY AT SUNSHINE COTTAGE 7 

a shtore it is thot. How fax did they be sayin' it is beyant the 
shtore? 

Nap. Golly, I done fo'got sho nuff. Lea' ask dia ol' duffer wif 
de chin whiskers. {To Zeb) Hi, mistah! 

Zeb. That's me — Mister Zebulon Spooner — Zeb for short. 
Reckon you must be Napoleon the great, eh? 

Nap. Say, who done tol' yo' my front name, huh? 

Bridget. Faix, an' who ilse but the gurrla would be tellin' it, ye 
greeny? 

Zee. I s'pose you're lookin' for them Ray gals. 

Bridget. Begorra v/e are, as shure as me name is Bridget O'Con- 
nor. An' if ye'U be afther tellin' me how much further we have to 
go I'll be your great aunt. 

Zeb. I ain't in no great need of aunts but I'll tell ye the way 
jest the same. (Steps toward front and points.) See that sign board 
over 3'onder? 

Bridget. Yis, sor. 

Zeb. Wal, you turn there an' keep goin' straight ahead for half 
a mile till you come to a big white house with green blinds an' a 
big piazzy an' you're there. 

Em. 'Taint no half mile either, Zeb Spooner. 

Zeb. I'd like to know if 'taint. I've been over the road every 
day for five 3^ears. 

Em. 'Taint more'n a quarter of a mile anyway. 

Zeb. Wal, I ain't goin' to argue with you, Emeline. I s'pose 
it's 'cordin' to the way anybody feels that does the travehn'. 

Em. Probably seems a good deal farther to a person of your age 
than it does to me. 

Zeb. My age? Goshl I'm a year younger'n you be. 

Em. Zeb Spooner, you know better, I — 

Zeb. Didn't I see it in the book down in the town clerk's office 
jest the other day. I can tell ye the very day an' the year an' all. 

Em. If you go teUin' my age I'll — I'U — 

Zeb. You'll what? 

Em. I'll pull your hair right out by the roots, what there ia 
left of it, no matter if Tishy is here. 

TisHY. I wouldn't try it, Emeline. You might get the worst of it. 

Em. From that old rattlebones? 

Nap. He! he! hel he! he! (Bends nearly double as he con- 
tinues to laugh.) 

Tishy. Goodness sakes! What's the matter with you? 

Nap. Ho! ho! ho! ho! ho! (Continues to laugh.) 

Em. He's got a fit, I do believe. 

Nap. He! he! he! I reckon ebry minute dat ol' gal gwine to 
bang his cocoanut an' knock it clean plumb off. He ! he ! 

Em. Old gal? Do you call me an old gal, you black heathen? 

Bridget. Come along wid yez, Napoleon Bonaparte. 'Tis sorry 
a foight we'll get oursilves mixed up in an' no tellin' but we'll both 
land in the calla-boose. Come along, I say. (Pulls Napolbx)n off 
stage still laughing.) 

Nap. Hi golly! Reckon I gwine bust a laughin'. 

(Exeunt Bridget and Napoleon.) 



8 POLLY AT SUNSHINE COTTAGE 

TiSHY. Well, do come on, Emeline. Let's go. 

Em. Yes, I think we'd better. I ain't goin' to stay here any 
longer to be insulted. (Starts to go but stops suddenly,) Oh now, I 
most forgot my jug of molasses. I'll be right out. (Exit into store.) 

Zeb. Do you know, Tishy, I'm airaid 'twould take more'n one 
jug of molasses to sweeten Emeline. 

TiSHY. Ain't it too bad she's got such a horrible disposition. 

Zeb. What can you expect from a genuine old maid like her. 
S'pose she's ever had a beau, Tishy? 

Tishy. Oh I dunno. They do say Reuben Price kept company 
with her once. 

Zeb. I'll bet a diamond ring agin a copper cent she was the 
haunt that drove him off. 

Tishy. I can see that you don't have much love for poor Eme- 
line. 

Zee. You bet I don't. Oh say, Tishy! I'm comin' over to- 
night. 

Tishy. You be? 

Zeb. Yep, comin' right over after supper. Comin' to see about 
that — that — 

Tishy. About what? 

Zeb. Oh, 'bout that — that — by thunder! I forgot what 'tis 
I'm comin over for. 

Tishy. Wal, you can come over jest the same. Mebbe you'll 
think what 'tis by that time. 

Zeb. Oh, I recomember now. I was comin' to see 'bout plantin' 
some popcorn in that south lot of youm. 

Tishy. I hope if you raise any it'll pop better'n it did last year, 

Zeb. Didn't nothin' pop last year — I mean didn't nobody pop 

Tishy. Why Zeb— nobody? 

Zeb. Shucks! I mean didn't nobody's com pop. Guess 'twas 
the season. 

(Enter Emeunb from store, carrying jug.) 

Em. Wal, my goodness 1 If you two ain't out here spoonin'. 

Zeb. Gosh ! 

Tishy. Emeline Wiggins, I shan't walk a step with you if you're 
goin' to talk like that. 

Em. Wal, I ain't sayin' anything agin' it. Spoon till you're 
black an' blue if you want to. 

(Enter Molly and Sadie with bundles.) 

Sadie. Let's cut cross lots, Molly. It's quicker. 

Molly. Guess we'd better. Ma's in an awful hurry for this 
sugar. 

Sadih (to Zee). Dear mel Why didn't you have your flivver 
here ready to take us home, Mr. Spooner? 

Molly. Oh yes, why didn't you? 

Zeb. I would have brung it 'stead of this paddy cart if I'd 
knowed there was goin' to be so many young ladies here — I sure 
would. 

Sadie (looking off stage, R.). Look! Here comes Tom, all out 
of bi\<>ath. 



POLLY AT SUNSHINE COTTAGE 9 

McLLY. Sure enough. 

{Enter Tom Anderson running.) 

TiSHY, Land o' goshenl What's the matter now! Everybody 
corces in a whew. 

Sadie. Why, Tom, what is it? 

Tom {panting and hardly able to talk). I — I'm in an awful 
hurry. I — I got to telephone for the doctor quick. 

{Others crowd around to learn the news. Hi comes out oj store.) 

Girls. The doctor? Oh dear! 

Em. Land sakes! Who's sick? 

Tom. B-Bart Hodges. He — he's had a sunstroke. 

Molly. O — oh dear! Bart had a sunstroke! Oh dear! Oh 
dear! {Holds hands to head and nearly falls but is supported by 
Zeb, who seats her in wheelbarrow.) 

Zeb. Great guns an' leetle fishes 1 Reckon we need a doctor 
here, too. 

Hi. I'll go'n call up Doc. Hooper right away. {Exit in store.) 

Em. My goodness! How did it happen? 

Tom. We was up next to the creek planting coni till it got so 
hot we couldn't stand it so we started for home. We got right there 
in front of the old Price place and Bart keeled right plumb over 
and didn't know anything. 

Molly. Oh dear ! Oh dear ! Oh dear ! He's dead — I know he is. 

Sadie. Maybe he isn't after all, Molly. Wait till the doctor 
sees him. 

Zeb. Where in tunket is he now? 

Tom. Well, you know those two girls up there. They fetched 
some water out and bathed his head and brought him to. Then we 
got him up under an apple tree in the shade and that's where he is 
now, 

Sadie. There, Molly, he's coming out all right. Didn't I tell 
you so? 

(Molly continues to moan.) 

{Enter Hi vdth bottle.) 

Hi. Doc says he'll be over in a jifTy. While he's comin' you 
jest take this bottle of Curemall's Extract an' rub it on his head 
good an' plenty. It's the best thing I know of. 

Zeb. Rub the bottle on, Hi? 

Em. Zeb Spooner, ain't you ashamed of yourself makin' fun at 
such a time. 

Zeb. Better a laugh than a cry. Sorry I ain't got mv Lizzie here 
now. I'd take ye over there in a hurry. Best I can do is to take 
Molly gal in the wheelbarrow to see her lover true. 

Sadie. And we'll see that she doesn't fall off. Won't we, Tom? 

Tom. Sure thing. Come, quick! 

{Exeunt Zeb with wheelbarrow, Sadie on one side and Tom on 
the other.) 

TiSHY. I guess it's time for us to be goin' home, Emeline. 

Em. So 'tis. Callate they won't need any of our help. {Exeunt h.) 

Hi {looking at watch). Gosh! If it ain't time to sort the mail 



10 POLLY AT SUNSHINE COTTAGE 

for that 'leven o'clock train. There's something to do all the time 
an' something's allers happenin'. {Eodt into store whistling.) 

Curtain 
ACT II 

Scene: Same as in Act I. The curtain rises on an empty stage. 
Hi is heard singing inside — any old-time song. Stage remains empty 
for short time. 

(Enter Molly and Sadie, R. They stop at front to listen, hold- 
ing attitude for minute or two.) 

(Enter Bart, L.) 
Bart. I say, girls — 

Girls (fingers to lips). Sh — (Motion to keep quiet.) 
Bart (lower). What's the big idea? 
Girls. Listen. 
Bart. Oh, gee! 

(They sit on steps. Pause as Hi continues to sing. At comple- 
tion of song all clap hands vigorously.) 

(Enter Hi from store and stands in doorway looking surprised.) 

Hi. What ever's the rumpus out here. 

Sadie. We've been enjoj^ing the concert, Mr. Simpkins. 

Molly. It was swell. Give us another. 

Bart. You're some singer. Hi — another McCormack or Caruso, 
the second, — I don't know which. 

Hi. Gosh a mighty! 

Bart. We've been out here soaking it all in, you see. 

Hi. Have, eh? S'pose I could get to be a great prima donna if 
I keep on? Think so? 

Molly. Oh, Mr. Simpkina, you're so funny— a prima donna. 
He! he! 

Hi. I never told y;e that I had a half brother once that went 
off an' got to be a great theayter star, did I? 

All. No! no! 

Bart. Was it the real stage or the movies, Hi? 

Hi. The real bona-fide stage, of course. An' say — talk about 
singing' — he could sing Uke a house afire. I reckon that's why I was 
spoutin' so — jest thinkin' of him. 

Sadie. Where is he now? 

Hi. Dunno. Ain't heard from him in over twenty years. 

Molly. Doesn't he ever write to you? 

Hi. Nary word. S'pose likely he got so rich an' big-feelin' he 
jest naturally wanted to forget his scrub relations. 

(Enter Emelinb, R.) 

Em. Wal, I declare! You folks are takin' it ea^, I must say. 
Bart. You bet we are. 

Molly. We've been listening to Mr. Simpkin's singing. 
Em. Hi Simpkind singing? Good Lord! He can't sing no 
more'n our old cow. 



POLLY AT SUNSHINE COTTAGE 11 

Hi. Right you are, Miss Wiggins. 

Sadie. But really he can when he gets wound up. We never 
knew it before. And he's got a brother that's famous as a singer. 

Molly. On the stage, too. Think of it! 

Em. I want to know! Jest like old Ben Wolfrom that drives 
the Frogtown stage. He's allers singin' an' he's famous. Everybody 
knows him for miles around. 

Sadie. But, Miss Wiggins, he — 

Em. Wal; I declare! Here comes the Widder Green with her 
basket. She's expectin' her Bobby home today, so I s'pose she's 
fixin' him up a lot of knick-knacks to eat. 

Bart. Gee! Bob hasn't been back in over a year. I'll be 
mighty glad to see him, 

(Enter Tishy mth basket on arm.) 

Em. Howdy, Mrs. Green. 

Tishy. Howdy do, folks. 

Em. My! You look as smiley as a baby with a new rattle. 

Tishy. I am happy, Emeline. I don't believe there's a woman 
in Gra^svale any happier than I be. I'm goin' to see my Bobby 
Shafto again. 

Girls (half singing). 

"Bobby Shafto's gone to sea. 
Silver buckles on his knee. 
He'll come back and marry somebod-ee." 

Tishy. Now, girls, you know better'n that. He ain't comin' 
back to marry nobody. My Bobby ain't never had no sweetheart 
yet but me. 

Hi. Don't be too sure, Mrs. Green. All young fellers has their 
sweethearts sooner or later an' a bright young man like Bobby ain't 
no exception to the rule. 

Molly. Did you ever have one, Mr. Simpkins? 

Em. Ain't no sign of it now. 

Hi. Time enough yet. Remember you said I was only a kid. 

Sadie. Maybe Bobby'll find one when he comes — someone like 
Susie Benson or — 

Molly. Or one of them Ray girls. 

Tishy. Dear me! How you talk! It would have to be an 
awful nice girl to be a match for my Bobby. 

Bart. Bob's all right, Mrs. Green. We used to be pretty good 
pals 'fore he went away. I presume likely he's got real citified by 
this time. 

Tishy. I hope he ain't forgotten his old friends. 

Em. But speakin' of them Ray gals— My land! Ain't it awful 
the way they're carryin on — screechin' an' hollerin' till twelve an' 
one o'clock every night. Why, I can hear 'em clean away over to 
my house. 

Molly. Pa says they must have about twenty horse lung power. 

Em. Wal I guess they have. Leastwise there ain't no immedi- 
ate danger of their gettin' consumption. 

Hi. I s'poee they might bust 'em with overexertion. 



12 POLLY AT SUNSHINE COTTAGE 

Em. 'Twould be a blessed good thing if they would then we'd 
have some peace 'round here. 

Sadie. Why, Misa Wiggins! 

Em. Wal, it's so. 

Bart. Most likely that's what started Hi to going. 

Em. It's my opinion they're responsible for a good many things 
that's been goin' on 'round these parts lately. Seems if this place 
had been hoodood ever since they came. 

Sadie. There has been a lot of things happened here in the past 
few weeks when you come to think of it. 

Bart. And they all began about the time I had that sunstroke. 

Em. That was right in front of their house the very next day 
after they came. An' 'twasn't only a day or two after that this 
store was robbed an' — 

Hi. Didn't get much only some tobacco, gol ding 'em. But 
they'd better look out now — I've got a new seven shooter. 

Molly. Then you know my purse was stolen, and the funniest 
thing about it was that one of those girls was in our house that very 
morning to see about buying some eggs and after she went we never 
could find the purse or the money. 

Em. That's what I've been tellin' ye. I've been suspicious of 
*em ever since they came an' it's turnin' out jest as I thought it 
would. 

Sadie. I wonder if they had anything to do with the epidemic 
of mumps. 

TiSHY. Or Zeb breakin' his arm. 

Bart. Or Dad's horse having the heaves. 

Em. Mebbe they did — ^^'ou never can tell about witches an' 
hoodoos an' sech like. 

TiSHY. Dear me ! I s'posed witches was dead an' gone long ago. 
I've heard Bobby read about 'em in his history book. 

Em. Most likely them witches are dead by this time, but theae 
are new ones sprung up — sort o' modern witches you might say. 

iEnter Tom in work clothes.) 

Tom. Hello, Bart and everybody. 

Bart. Hello, Tom 1 Working hard? 

Tom. I'll say I am. Dad and I expect to finish haying to- 
morrow if nothing happens. Would have finished today if it hadn't 
been for old Whiteface. 

Hi. What's the matter with old Whiteface? 

Tom. Haven't you heard? She was pa's best thoroughbred 
Holstein. We found her dead in the lot this morning. 

All. Dead? 

Tom. Dead aa a door nail. 

Em. Goodness gracious! How'd it happen? 

Tom. Don't know. Everybody thinks she was poisoned some- 
way. 

All. Poisoned? 

Tishy. Wal now ain't that dreadful? Who could have done it? 

Em. Do you think 'twas them over there? {Motions.) 

Tom. Can't say. Mose Peacock says he saw 'em over in the 
lot yesterday picking daisies. 



POLLY AT SUNSHINE COTTAGE 13 

Em. There! I told ye so. It's them hussies. Whatever pos- 
sessed '(^m to come to this quiet neighborhood to pester us peaceful 
law-abiding folks is more'n I can make or.t. 

Hi. Mebbe somebody else drove 'em away from where they was 
before an' so they drifted in here like a boat on a storm-tossed sea 
— to find a haven of refuge. 

Em. I'll warrant ye that's what happened, but they won't find 
it sech a peaceful haven as they imagine. 

Hi. No, it's my opinion they won't, Emehne. By the way it 
makes me think of something I was readin' in the New York paper 
spell ago. (Picks up paper.) Right here 'tis now. 

Bart. Read it, Hi. 

Hi (adjusting glasses). Wal, hold your hosses till I get fixed. 
(Reads.) 

"One of the cleverest cases of forgeiy ever worked in this city 
was pulled off last week by a young woman known as Polly Ray who 
obtained $50,000 from the estate of old Judge Pennywise. No trace 
of the young woman can be found although three of the best-known 
detectives in the city have been detailed on the case. It is thought 
she had an accomplice in the affair and that they made their es- 
cape together." 

Bart. Gee! S50,000! She was some crook, I'll sav. 

Em. Polly Ray? An' she disappeared? Say! Can't you folks 
see the connection? 

Molly. You think she's one of the Ray girls over here? 

Em. Wal, don't it stand to reason? 'Twas jest about that time 
they landed here where they thought nobody 'd think of lookin' for 
'em. 

Sadie. They seem to have plenty of money, too. 

Em. Why shouldn't they? That's how they got it. I've sus- 
pected all the time there was something wrong about 'em. 

TiSHY. It does seem kinder funny, don't it? 

Tom. You bet it does. Maybe when that detective comes to 
see about pa's cow he'll discover something. I'll give him a tip. 

TisHY. Be 3'ou goin' to have a real detective? 

Tom. Sure thing. Uncle Jim telephoned over to Bay City and 
they're going to send one today. He may be there now. 

Hi. I tell ye these are turbulous times we're livin' in this sum- 
mer. It keeps anybody wonderin' what's goin' to happen next. 

Tom. Gee ! I've got to hustle. Got to go over to Hank Whip- 
ple's after his hay rope and ma wants ten pounds of sugar. I'll stop 
and get it on my way back if you have it ready. 

Bart. Guess I'll go along with you for company, Tom. 

Tom. All right, come on! (Exeunt.) 

Sadie. Wonder who that is coming up the road — some stranger. 

Hi. Probably another drummer. They're thicker'n fleas on a 
dog this summer an' when once they get wound up they're good for 
all day. Reckon I'd better go'n put up Tom's sugar. 

TiSHY. An' I must get my groceries. (Exit into store.) 

Em. Sa^', bring me out a couple of spools of number 50 white 
thread when you come. 

Hi. I sure will, Emeline. (Exit.) 

Em. I've got eight sheets an' four pair of pillow cases to hem. 



14 POLLY AT SUNSHINE COTTAGE 

Sadie. My ! Anybody might think you was going to jump over 
the broomstick, Miss Wiggins. 

Em. How you do talk ! Jest as if I would look at a man. 

(Enter Detective.) 

Detective. Good morning, ladies. A fine morning. 

Sadie (to Molly). Listen to that, will you. Those drummers 
are all so fresh. 

Detective. Pardon me, what did you say? 

Molly. She said drummers are always fresh. 

Detective. So you take me for a drummer? Hal hal That's 
a good one. 

Sadie. Aren't you one? 

Detective. A queer sort of drummer I'd make, I fancy. The 
fact is I'm looking for a place known eis the Price Farm. Perhaps 
you will be kind enough to inform me if I am on the right road. 

Em. Mebbe you want to see them Ray girls, do ye? 

Detective. I haven't said just why I want to find it. However, 
I shall thank you if you will direct me. 

Em. We'll be glad to do that. You turn to your right where 
you see that sign-board an' it's the third house on the left. 

Detective. I thank you. 

Em. Not at all, Mr. Detective, I'm awful glad to do it. 

Detective. Detective, eh? Why do you think I'm a detective? 

Em. Because detectives wear badges an' I saw yours under your 
coat. You're tryin' to find Miss Polly Ray so you can arrest, her for 
forgin' a check, an' we all wish you good luck. Don't we, girls? 

Sadie and Molly. Sure we do. 

Detective. Well, you certainly have proved your own ability aa 
a detective. And now since you have discovered my errand perhaps 
you can give me some information regarding this Ray woman. 

Em. There's two of 'em instead of one — sisters, so I hear, but 
I can't tell you anything good of 'em. 

Detective. Oh, I see — they're not in very good repute here- 
abouts. 

Em. I should say not, an' if you arrest 'em an' send 'em to jail 
where they belong you'll confer a great blessin' upon this neighbor- 
hood. 

Detective. What have they been doing here to make them- 
selves disliked, may I ask? 

Em. I ain't sayin' what they've done but we've had robberies 
an' thievery an' cows poisoned an' most everything else under the 
sun since they came here. 

Molly. And the mumps. 

Detective. Ha ! ha 1 So they're responsible for the mumps too? 
Well, I'm glad to know all this. 

Em. An' we'll be mighty glad to help ye if you need it. 

Detective. Thank you. Now I'll be going. (Moves to R.) 

Em. Don't forget it's the third house on the left^the one with 
the green bhnds. 

Detective. I've got it all down pat, thank you. (Exit.) 

Sadie. Just think of it! A real live Sherlock Holmes right here 
in Grassvale! Isn't it lovely I 



POLLY AT SUNSHINE COTTAGE 15 

(Enter Hi with thread, and Tishy mth groceries.) 

Hi. Here's your thread, Emeline. What's become of our drum- 
mer man? 

Em. Oh, Mr. Simpkins, he wasn't a drummer at all — he was a 
detective. 

Hi. A detective? 

Em. Yes, sir, an' he's gone to arrest them Ray women. What 
d'ye know about that? 

Hi. Nothin' only what you've told me. 

Em. Wal, ain't that enough? 

Hi. Looks kind o' bad for 'em, don't it? 

Tishy. Ain't it awful. What will my Bobby say when he hears 
about it? 

Molly. Don't you suppose such things happen every day in 
New York where Bobby is? 

Sadie. Sure they do. 

Em. Wal, I must run in next door an' tell Mis' Brown the news 
seein' she's got the rheumatiz an' can't get out. She'll be dyin' to 
know who that stranger is if she sees him goin' by. 

Molly. What about your sheets and pillow cases? 

Em. I've got a piller case right here with me. (Exit R.) 

Sadie. Hadn't we better be going, Molly? We'll be late. 

Molly (looking at wrist watch). It's only ten minutes of two 
now and it doesn't begin until a quarter after, you know. 

Tishy. Something goin' on, girls? 

Molly. Nothing only a meeting of our club — "The Willing 
Workers." 

Tishy. Isn't that a splendid name. 

Sadie. Yes, but I'm afraid we aren't always so willing to work 
as we ought to be. It's mostly in the name. 

Tishy. Don't say that. The girls of Grassvale are real good 
workers. Don't you think so, Mr. Simpkins? 

Hi. I sartinly do think so. 

Molly. Oh look! (Points off R.) There go the Ray girls now. 
See how they're making that poor horse go. 

Sadie. Goodness 1 I'll bet it's running away. 

Molly. What? Old Dobbin running away? Impossible. 

Sadie. But he is. See him go ! They're trying to stop him. 

Hi. By hokey ! I believe he is running away at that. 

Tishy. He's goin' straight down the woods road, too. Oh dear! 

Molly. 0-oh! They 'most tipped over then. 

Sadie. Look ! Somebody fell out. I guess it was the darkey. 

Molly. There he is sitting up in the road feeUng of his head. 

Hi. Haw 1 haw 1 Don't worry. You can't break a nigger's head 
whatever you do. 

Sadie. Now there's an automobile coming round the bend with 
two men in it. I wonder if they'll stop. (Pause while all watch.) 

Molly. Yes, they've stopped and both of 'em are getting out. 
(Pause.) There ! They've caught the horse at last. 

Tishy. I'm real glad they've caught it. I never like to see any- 
one get hurt, no matter who they be. 

Molly. Wonder who the men are. 



16 POLLY AT SUNSHINE COTTAGE 

Sadie. I'm sure I don't kuow. If we had some opera glasses we 
could see. 

Molly. They're all pihng into the car now. 

TiSHY. What's become of the horse? 

Sadie. I guess they're going to lead it behind the auto. 

Molly. I just happened to think — that detective won't find 
anybody at home. 

Hi. I reckon he won't give it up on that account. 

(Enter Tom and Bart.) 

Sadie. See the mnaway, boys? 

Tom. Did we? Say, I want to tell you old Dobbin's got some 
pep in those old legs of his yet. 

Molly. Could you see who 'tis in the auto? 

Bart. Zeb Spoon er was driving and we thought it was Bobby 
with him. 

TiSHY. What? My Bobby? Oh I'm so glad he's come. 

Hi. That's jest who 'tis, Tishy. See! He's wavin' the flag of 
truce to ye. (She waves handkerchief to him.) 

Tishy. It's him ! It's him ! 

Zeb (outside). Well, here we be. 

(Enter Zeb supporting N/iPOleon. Bobby and girls follow.) 

Zeb. Got anj'^ liniment. Hi? This feller's cracked his noddle. 

Nap. Yes sah! I done fell on my belfry- an' golly how dem 
bells did ring. 

Hi. Bring hirn over here an' I'll see what I can do. 

(Zeb seats him on bench. Hi gets liniment and applies it.) 

Bobby. Hello, Mommer! 

Tishy. Oh, Bobby, I'm so glad you're back again. 

Bob. No more than I am. (They embrace.) Gee! It's bully 
to see you again, mother. 

(Bobby turns to greet the others. General greetings and hand- 
shakings take place. The Ray girls stand aloof.) 

Molly. You look just the same as ever, Bobby. 

Zeb. Can't see's he's changed a mite. Can you, Hi? 

Hi. Not a hair. 

Bart. I was expecting to see a dude after being in New York 
so long. 

BoBc Dude? I hope not, Bart. No dudes for me. 

(Enter Emeline hurriedly.) 

Em. Wal. if here ain't Bobby Green. How be ye, Bobby. 

Bob. Pretty well, thank you. (They shake hands.) 

Em. I'm real glad to see ye. 

Emeline notices the Ray girls, glances coldly at them and in 
other ways tries to shun them.) 

Bobby. Pardon me, mother and everybody. I suppose j'^ouVe all 
met my friends — the Misses Ashley. 

All (in surprise). His friends! Ashley! etc. 

Polly and Della. Ray 3^ou mean, Robert. 

(Others look questioningly at each other and whisper in aside, 
"Ashley," "Did you ever!" etc.) 

Bob. Oh yes, pardon me again — I mean Ray. (Introduces them.) 



POLLY AT SUNSHINE COTTAGE 17 

Miss Polly Ray. Miss Delia Ray. (Others act very coldly.) I sup- 
posed of course you had all got acquainted and become friends and 
neighbors by this time. 

Em. By this time? 

Bob. \a hy yes. People in a place like this ought to get acquain- 
ted in three weeks, hadn't they? 

Sadie and Molly. But we don't quite understand. 

Em. You see we don't understand how you happen to know 
these people so well. 

Bob (laughing). We've known each other for quite a spell. I 
wouldn't dare tell you just how we first got acquainted. Would I, 
girls? 

Della. Oh no, don't tell them. Please don't. 

Polly. At least don't tell them now. 

(Others look at each other suspiciously.) 

TiSHY. I hope you ain't been doin' anything you hadn't ought 
to do, Bobby. They do say New York is an awful wicked place to 
live in. 

Bob. I can assure you that everything is all right, mother. 

TiSHY. Then I believe you, my son. 

Nap. Yes um, it am de truf, Mr. Bob am a very salubrious 
gemman. 

Tom. Some gemman — eh, Bob? 

Em. You folks seem to be pretty familiar. 

Nap. Deed we is, an' we all lubs him — case I tells yo' why — 

Della. Oh Polly, stop him! 

Polly. Napoleon Bonaparte, if you don't keep still I'll — I'll call 
the "haunts." 

Nap. Oh Lawd a massey! Don't stir up de hants! I'se skeered 
to deaf of 'em when dey gits to moanin' an' groanin'. 

Em. Didn't I tell ye that house was haunted? 

Molly. Here comes that detective back again. 

Tom. To see about pa's cow. 

Sadie. No, this is another one. 

Bart. Gee whizl Detectives are getting pretty thick around 
here. 

(Enter Detective.) 

Detective. Another wild goose chase, but I'll get her yet. 

Hi. Didn't ye find nobody home? 

Detective. Only an old Irish woman. She said they'd gone for 
a drive — be back in a couple of hours. 

Em. Well, right there's the one you're looking for. (Points to 
Polly who stands near Mrs. G.) 

Detective (to Em.). Thank you. (Addressing Mrs. G.) So 
thia is Polly Ray. 

TiSHY. Good land, no! 

Em. No, no, that's Mrs. Green. She's a respectable woman. 

Detective. I beg your pardon. 

Polly. Do you wish to see me, sir? 

Detective. I wish to speak with Polly Ray. 

Polly. Well, I am known by that name sometimes. 

Detecttvb. Oh, so you have other aliases, eh? 



18 POLLY AT SUNSHINE COTTAGE 

Polly. I have other nom-de-plumes. 

Detective. I see. Well, what I wish to say is that I have a 
warrant here for your arrest. (Takes paper from pocket.) 

Polly. For my arrest? 

Della. 0-oh you don't think — 

Bob. On what grounds, sir? 

Detective. Forgery. She is charged with having forged a check 
in New York three weeks ago and getting away with $50,000. And 
this other woman I suspect may be an accomplice. 

(Polly sinks into a faint.) 

TisHY. Dear me! She's fainted. Get some water, Mr. Simp- 
kins. Quick ! 

(TiSHY and Della work over her assisted by Zbb. Hi gets 
water.) 

Bob. It's a lie, sir. She never did it and I can prove it. 

Nap (rolling sleeves and showing fight). Dat's a fac'. It am a 
pugnacious lie an' heah am anudder gemman wat can prove it. 

Zee. Look out or you'll sure get your head busted. 

Nap. No sah, yo' can't bust my head nohow. It am non-com- 
bustible. 

Detective. Come, come, my lady, you can't work that stunt on 
me. I've seen too many such cases. 

TiSHY. But, sir, I think she has really fainted. 

Sadie. Oh dear ! Ain't it dreadful ! 

Molly. It makes me nervous. 

Em. What is this world comin' to anyway? 

TisHY. There ! She's coming out of it now, I guess. 

(Polly opens eyes and looks about.) 

Polly. Where am I? 

Della. Right here in Grassvale and we're arrested for forgery. 
Think of it! 

Polly. The very idea! Oh sir, we are innocent. 

Detective. That's what they all say. But you'll have a chance 
to prove it. You say 3^our name is Polly Ray. 

Polly. That is my stage name. 

Detective. So you are an actress, eh? What is your real name. 

Della. You'd better tell them, Fanny. 

Polly. My name is Fanny Ashley. 

(Exclamations from others.) 

Detective. Not the one that played last season at the Rialto? 

Polly. Yes, I played under my own name last year, but the 
coming season I shall be known as Polly Ray. 

Detective. Maybe it's true and maybe it isn't. You can't pull 
a bluff on me without some proof. 

Bob. But it's true. I'll vouch for it. 

Detective. Who are you, may I ask? 

TiSHY. He is my son, an' as good a son as ever lived. 

Detective. Looks to me as if he's mixed up in it, too. I may 
have to arrest him before we get through with it. 

Polly. My manager, Mr. Byrnes, will be here this afternoon 
on the three o'clock train. We were going to meet him at the station 



POLLY AT SUNSHINE COTTAGE 19 

on our way back but our horse ran away and that's how we happen 
to be here now. 

Detective. Then I'll wait till he comes. I know Jack Byrnes 
well and if he says it's so, then I've made a mistake and it's my 
treat. 

Della. You'd better walk up to our place and wait. Napoleon, 
you drive old Dobbin down to the station in time for the train and 
bring Mr. Byrnes right up to the house just as soon as he comes. 

Nap. Yes um, if dat ol' ripper snorter don't run away agin an' 
spill us bof out. 

Bob. I'll be over tonight or tomorrow, girls. 

Della. If we don't go to jail, you mean. 

(Exeunt girls, detective and Napoleon.) 

TiSHY. We'd better be goin' home too, Bobby. 

Zeb. Well, you jest hop right into my flivver an' I'll take ye 
there in no time. 

{Exeunt Bob, Zeb and Tishy.) 

Tom. If I don't hurry, pa'll give me "Hail Columbia." Where's 
the sugar. Hi? 

Hi. Right here 'tis. Tell your pa I'm real sorry 'bout his cow. 

Tom. All right. Come on, Bart. 

(Exeunt Tom and Bart.) 

Sadie. And if we don't hustle we'll be late for ''The Willing 
Workers." 

Molly. We are late now, but how can we help it when there's 
so much excitement. 

Em. Did you ever see so much excitement in all your born days. 
Things are gettin' so muddled up an so much goin' on I don't know 
which end my head's on. I've jest got to go an' tell old Mis' Gowdy 
all about it. D'ye s'pose they reallj^ be great actresses, Mr. Simpkins? 

Hi. I swan, I dunno. There's something about 'em that jest 
sets me to wonderin'. Wal, so long. I've got to sort that blamed 
old mail again. (Goes into store singing same song as at first. 
Others exeunt L. front.) 

Curtain 

ACT III 

Scene: Lawn at the Price place, or "Sunshine Cottage." The 
stage is decorated and lighted with Japanese lanterns strung across. 
A sign at rear bears the words "THE WITCHES' DEN" at one side 
and "SUNSHINE COTTAGE" at the other. Chairs, lawn settees 
and camp stools are grouped about. 

The curtain rises on an empty stage. 

(Enter Napoleon, running and laughing heartily.) 

Nap. He! he! he! he! Mos' got de bes' ob de ol' gal dat time. 
He! he! he! he! 

(Enter Bridget with broom.) 

Bridget. Here ye young spalpeen, if I catches yez stalin' ony 
more iv me ice cream I'll larrup ye till ye're black an' blue, begorra. 
D'ye moind phwat I'm telhn' yez? 

Nap. I reckon dat ice cream don't b'long to you no more'n it 



20 POLLY AT SUNSHINE COTTAGE 

does to me. I'se jes' gwine take paht ob my share now an' tother 
paht bime by, dat's all. 

BRrocET. Ye'll do nothin' iv the koind. 'Tis mesilf is boss iv 
thot departmint so jist put thot under your hat. 

Nap. Yes um, I spec's yo'se de gran' high cockolorum ob de 
eatables. I is often reminded ob dat fac'. 

Bridget. Well, don't be forgettin' it. 

Nap {turns away from Bridget, takes sandwich from pocket 
and begins eating it, meanwhile casting sly glances over shovlder). 
Hi goUy, ain't we gwine hab a scrumptious time, an' don't ebryting 
look splendiferous. Dis suttinly am a swell affair. 

Bridget. An' phwy shouldn't it be wid the fifty thousand dollars 
the young loidies jist be gittin'? 

Nap. Lawdy sakes ! Fifty t'ousand doUahs ! S'pose dat had 
been dis colahed gemman. I sho' would hab enough to eat fo' once, 
yo' bet. 

Bridget. If 'twas only Pat Murphy an' mesilf we'd be married 
this very noight an' och! sich a wake as we'd have — I mane sich a 
weddin'. 

Nap (turning about). Say! Don't s'pose dar ain't nobody 
gwine come, does yo? It am mos' eight o'clock a-ready. 

Bridget. Wull, yez niver can tell. They be none too frindly in 
this neighborhood 'specially the ould maid Wiggins. 

Nap. Golly! S'posen day don't come. We'll hab all dat ice 
cream to ourselves. Yum ! yum ! 

(Enter Della.) 

Della. Everything all ready, Bridget? 

Bridget. Yis mum. Iverj^thing's ready an' waitin'. 

Della. I wonder where Polly's gone. 

Bridget. Shure an' I think she wint up in the garret about foive 
minutes ago to look for some draperies. 

Della. Oh she's after that bunting we had at the movie party 
last winter. It's in the trunk. 

Bridget. Yis mum, now I ramimber, Thot was jist it. 

Nap. Heah comes Mr. Bob. I jes' natcherly spected he'd be de 
fust arribal. Howdy, Mr. Bob. 

(Enter Bobby.) 

Bob. Why hello. Napoleon. How's everything tonight? 

Nap. Ebrs'ting's puffictly lubly — only I jes' can't wait to get 
on de outside ob dem eatables. 

Bob. Your appetite is just as good as ever I see. 

Nap. Yes sah. It hab growed powahful strong since we been 
libin' in de country. 

Bob. Where's the other member of this happy family? 

Polly (outside). Right here I am. (Enters.) You're the very 
person I want to see. 

Bob. Take a good long look. 

Polly. I want you to help me drape this bunting. I just hap- 
pened to think of it a few minutes ago. 

Bob. I am at your service. Command me as you like. 

Polly. One end of this is to be fastened to the tree and the 



POLLY AT SUNSHINE COTTAGE 21 

other end to the house. (.Hands one end to Bob and holds the other 
herself. They pass to opposite sides of stage and, standing in chairs, 
fasten ends.) How'a that, Delia? 

Dell A. A little higher on your end. (Pause while end is being 
raised.) There 1 That's better. 

Polly. I think it's quite an improvement. What do you think? 

Bob. Decidedly so. Now what's the second command? 

Polly. We want you to help move this large table over here 
next thing. 

Bob. All right. I'm your strong man. 

(Exeunt girls and Bob. R.) 

Nap. Dar comes de nex' consignment. Spects heah's whar I'ae 
getter shine in de welcome act. 

(Enterr Sadie, Mollt, Bart and Tom.) 

Nap. Right dis way, ladies an' genmian. Take off yo* hats an' 
shoes an' make yo' selbes to home. 

(Young people laugh.) 

B\RT. Thanks, Ebony. 

Nap. No sah, dat ain't my name. 

Tom. What is your name? 

Nap. My name's Napoleon Bonaparte Wellington Ebenezer 
Johnson. 

Bart. Gee whiz! Some name! Where'd you get it all? 

Nap. I tells yo' how 'twas. Yo' see my mammy done wuk fo' 
a Fi-enchman an' my daddy wuk fo' a Englishman, an' my uncle's 
name was Ebenezer, so dat's how come it. (All laugh.) Yes sah, 
dey done saddled all dem names on me jes' fo' dat account. 

Molly. Let's sit over here all by ourselves. 

Sadie. We're the first ones here, aren't we? 

Tom. All except Bob. 

Bart. Gee ! It's funny how he got to be so chummy with those 
girls down in New York. 

Tom. I'll say it is. 

(Sound of auto outside.) 

Tom. There's Zeb comin' with a load. 

Molly. With Bob's mother and Hi Simpkins. 

Sadie. And old maid Wiggins. 

Bart. It's a wonder she'd come. 

Molly. No wonder at all. She's coming to hear the news. 

Nap. Come right ober dis way, folks, an' take some cheers. 
(Enter Zeb, Hi, Emeline and Tishy.) 
Yo' all is welcome as de — as de fly in de soup. 

Em. Well can you beat that ! Such impudence 1 

Zeb. Haw! hawl 

(Enter Polly and Della.) 

Polly. Good evening, everybody. 

Della. I hope Napoleon hasn't been getting smart again. 
Nap. Deed I ain't. I jes' sez to 'em dey's welcome as—dat is, 
dey's welcome as de flowahs in de springtime. 
Em (to Tishy). Wal, did you ever? 



22 POLLY AT SUNSHINE COTTAGE 

TisHT. No, I never. He said we was as welcome as a Qy in the 
soup. 

Della. Napoleon Bonaparte, I'm ashamed of you. I reallj^ am. 

Polly. You'd better go immediately and see if Bridget doesn't 
need your services. 

Nap. Yes um, I spect she does. (Runs off.) 

Polly. Dear me! I hope you won't mind him. He gets awfully 
fresh sometimes and it does seem as if we never can teach him any 
mamiers. 

Zeb. He's a genuine coon all right. 

Della. Will yon please excuse us for just a few minutes, people? 
Robert is helping us move a table. 

Several. Certainly. Certainly. Go ahead. 

{They exeunt.) 

Hi {looking about). I snum! They've got things fixed up 
purty slick here, ain't they Tishy? 

TiSHT. Looks some like it does to the church socials. 

Em. Well do look there will you. {Points to sign.) "The 
Witches' Den" on one side an' "Sunshine Cottage" on the other. That 
"witch" sign is quite appropriate, I must say. 

Hi. 'Tis quite an idee considerin'. 

Zeb. Looks to me, Emeline, as if you hadn't quite got all that 
old prejudice out o' your system yet. 

Em. I dunno's I have. Somehow or other I've got a feelin' 
that there's another mystery that ain't been solved yet. Mebbe I'm 
wrong but I've got a hunch. 

Zeb. Seems to me you're all the time havin' hunches. 

Tishy. I hope it turns out to be a real good mystery. 

Zee. Gosh ! Things did look kinder suspicious for a spell, didn't 
they? 

Hi. I saw by the paper they've caught the women that forged 
that check. Got 'em both locked up in jail. 

Em. You don't say. 

Hi. That's what it said in the paper. An' another thing — when 
they arrested old Sime Doolittle for robbin' Peterses store last week 
it sorter cleared the other robbery mysteries round here. 

Tom. And when that detective found the place where pa's cow 
reached through and ate the potato vines it cleared up that affair. 

Sadie. Did I tell you we've found my pocketbook? 

Em. No; where'd you find it? 

Sadie. Back of the davenport where Hettie's baby dropped it. 

Em. I want to know ! 

Tishy. I'm glad of it. I never like to see anybody accused of 
something they didn't do. 

Molly. But they did keep us awake nights for a long time this 
summer. I don't hear them so much lately. 

Em. Of course I'll admit it does make a lot of difference when 
you know it's real opera singin' sech as they get pay for in the the- 
ayters. 

(Enter Bob mopping face with handkerchief.) 

Bob. Hello, everybody. 
Bart. Made you sweat some. 



POLLY AT SUNSHINE COTTAGE 23 

Hi. Women are hard critters to work for, eh, Bob? 
Bob. It isn't the work so much — it's the weather. It's been hot 
all day. 

{Enter Polly and Dblla.) 

Polly. We got the table moved at last, thanks to Mr. Bob. 

Della. We're sorry we had to leave you as we did. 

Hi. Don't mention it, Miss. We've been to a good many 
socials together, us folks, an' we've sort of got in the way of enter- 
tainin' om'selves, you see. 

TisHY. An' when we older folks get all talked out we call on 
the young folks to entertain us. 

Zeb. You bet they can do it right smart too, with singin' an' 
sech like. 

Em. Ain't nothin' I'd hke to hear any better right now than 
that song that these boys an' gals sung at the picnic last summer in 
Van Duser's woods. Don't s'pose you could sing it for us tonight? 

Molly. You folks aren't talked out so quick are you? You've 
just come. 

Em. Wal, I suppose we could think of something more, but any- 
way there'll be time enough after that. 

Della. I'm sure we'll be delighted to hear you. 

Polly. Indeed we will. Please sing it for us. 

{The young people whisper to each other.) 

Zeb. What say, young folks? 

Tom. Bart doesn't think he can sing. He's got a touch of hay 
fever. {Girls giggle.) 

Hi. Fiddlesticks ! 

Bob. Go on fellows! What's the use of making excuses? 

Zeb. Tell you what — you go ahead an' sing that song for us an' 
after that some of us old duffers will give ye an old-timer — something 
along the camp-meetin' st3de or better. What say? 

{Boys and girls whisper and nod to each other.) 

Bart. All right, Mr. Spooner, it's a bargain. 

{All settle themselves ready to listen. Molly, Sadie, Bart and 
Tom join in singing any good quartet. Napoleon and Bridget appear 
at side of stage to listen. Applause follows the song.) 

Zee. Good enough. 

Hi. We knew you could do it. 

Polly and Della. It was splendid. 

Tom. Now you're trying to flatter us. 

Polly. Indeed we're not. Your singing ia so natural, so un- 
affected — 

Della. And so different from the strained attempts we are ac- 
customed to hearing on the stage. 

Sadie. Thank you. (To Zeb.) Now we've done our part, it's up 
to you folks to make good. 

Zeb. By cracky 1 I guess I put my foot in it that time. 

Tom. Hold on! No backing out now. 

Zeb {to Hi, Em and Tishy). Wal, come on folks. YouVe got 
to help me out. 

Em. My land sakes! Tishy an' I ain't sung in over fifteen 
years. 



24 POLLY AT SUNSHINE COTTAGE 

TiSHY. Not since the last camp-meetin' in Fisher's grove. 

Zeb. As I remember you could whoop it up good an' plenty 
then — wasn't at all bashful about it either. What'll we sing, Hi? 

Hi. How's — (Name any good song.) 

Zeb. Suits me to a T. How about you ladies? 

TiSHY. We'll do the best we can. 

Zeb. Everybody ready. Here goes! 

{All sing, with gi'eat gusto, any old-time song. Great applause 
follows. Meanwhile Tom falls asleep in his chair.) 

Nap {clapping hands). Hi yi! yil yi! 

Sadie. My stare! 

Molly, And garters! 

Zeb. What in Sam Hill ails you? Got another fit? {Looks him 
over iritently.) 

Nap. No sah, I ain't got nary fit. I'se got dat reg'lar ol' camp- 
meetin' feelin' dat's all. 

Bob. SajM Look here folks. Tom's sound asleep. 

Em. I told ye we couldn't sing. We tried it an' look at the re- 
sult. 

Della. Indeed I think it was quite effective. It had power to 
soothe and to exhilerate. 

Tom {talking in sleep). Ye-yes, I'll get up in a minute. (Others 
laugh. Tom awakes.) Why, where am I? 

Bob. "Asleep at the switch," or rather the party. 

Tom. Gee whiz! {To Sadie.) Why didn't you wake me up, 
Sadie? 

Sadie. I didn't notice you were asleep. I was listening to the 
song. 

Hi. Now we've been entertaining the hosts for quite a spell, 
seems to me it's most time to switch around — vica versa. 

Polly. Really I'm afraid we've kept you awake nights too much 
already. 

Hi. We did hear quite a bit of the rehearsin', but now we're 
ready to hear the finished product, so to speak. 

Polly. Well, if you think you can endure it. 

All. Yes! yes! 

Hi. Hear that? It's unanimous. 

{The girls sing any good selection. Applause follows.) 

Bart. That's a corker. I bet it'll be a whopping success. 

Girls. Thank you. 

Zeb. Wish we could all go to that theayter an' hear it. 

Tom. Now you've said it, Zeb. 

Note. // the song selected to be sung by Polly and Della is suit- 
able to be sung by witches in costume, they may excuse themselves 
just before time to sing. In such cose the following remarks may be 
added : 

Em. Wal now, what's the idee of runnin' ofif like that, d'ye 
spose? 

TisHY. I dunno. Mebbe they have to get their music books. 
Some folks can't never sing without 'em. 

{Girls re-enter under "The Witches Den" wearing witches caps 
and cloaks and proceed to sing.) 



POLLY AT SUNSHINE COTTAGE 25 

Hi. Young ladies, somehow or other I can't get it out of my 
head that I've heard your voices before. 

Della. You've heard them all summer. 

Hi. I don't mean now — this > ear — I mean sometime in the past. 
You weren't never at Gooseville was you? 

Polly. We never heard of the place. Where is it? 

Hi. 'Bout twenty miles back here in the country. That's where 
I hailed from. 'Tain't much of a place to look at, but me an' iny 
half brother, Stub as we called him, managed to have some rattlin' 
good times there v/hen we was kids. By the way when Stub got 
older he went oil' an' got to be a great actor an' that's the last I 
ever heard of him. 

Polly. Indeed. It's funny he wouldn't come back to see you 

Hi. He never did. 

Della. Perhaps he gave all of his time and his life to his art. 

Polly. Like ourselves. We have always worked and hoped for 
big things. We have always loved the stage. I think we inherited 
(hat love from our parents who were both actors but unfortunately 
they were both shipwrecked when we were very little. 

TiSHY. Poor things! Wasn't that uv/ful to be left all alone in 
the world. 

Polly. Our mother's brother adopted us then and we lived at 
his house and went by his name. 

Della. You see Ashley isn't our baptismal name any more than 
Ray. 

Em. My goodness! You have names to burn. 

TiSHY. But what is your real name? 

Polly. Our father's name was Burton. 

Hi. What's that? Burton? What was his first name? 

Polly. Lemuel — Lemuel Augustus, I think. 

Hi. Then the mystery is solved at last. Your father was my 
half-brother Stub. An' you say he was shipwrecked? 

Polly. Yes, he and mother were on their way home from Eng- 
land. 

Della. Oh Mr. Simpkins! That makes you our uncle, doesn't 
it — our Uncle Hiram? 

Hi. I callate it does an' you're my nieces. Let's shake on it. 
{He clasps one hand of each of the girls.) 

Bob, Mother, it may surprise you some to hear that I may soon 
be the nephew of Uncle Hiram. 

TiSHY. Why Bobby, you don't mean it. 

Bob. I certainly do. If you don't think so, ask Polly. 

PoLi,Y. Yes, Mrs, Green, I hope you will have a warm spot in 
your heart for your new daughter. 

TiSHY. I surely will. 

Sadie. Didn't I tell you— 

"Bobby Shafto's been to sea, 
Silver buckles on his knee, 
He's come back to marry — somebodee." 
TiSHY. An' I told you 'twould have to be an awful nice girl. 
Della. Hadn't we ought to drink to the health of our new re- 
latives? 



•J6 POLLY AT SUNSHINE COTTAGE 

Zeb. Reckon 'twould be a good stunt. 

Della. Napoleon and Bridget, bring the grape juice and some 
glasses right away. 

Bridget. Faix an' they're roight here on the table now. 

Nap. We'll hab 'em in de jerk ob a lamb's tail. 

(Exeunt quickly. Bridget re-enters with bottle and glasses, Na- 
poleon follows with other glasses. Della fills glasses and hands to 
guests.) 

Della. Here's health and happiness and long life to the future 
Mr, and Mrs. Robert Green. (All touch glasses to lips. Responst 
if desired.) 

Della. And now to our Uncle Hiram. 

Hi. Hold on a minute, folks ! Your future Aunt Emeline should 
be included in that. 

Tom. Hear that, Sadie? 

Zeb. Gosh! Is that so, Hi? 

Hi. Sure thing. Ain't it, Emeline? 

Em. Um-phm, we've been keepin' it a secret. Te! he! he! he! 

Della. All ready. Here's to many years of connubial bliss for 
Uncle Hiram and Aunt Emeline and may their shadows never grow 
less. (Same business as before.) 

Della. And we have still another worthy couple. 

Several. Who? 

Della (pointing to Zeb and Tishy). Behold their radiant faces. 

Molly and Sadie. Zeb and Tishy? 

Bob. Really, mother? 

Tishy. Yes, my son, it seems for the best. 

Della. Then here goes. We wish for them everj^thing their 
hearts may desire. (Same business as before.) 

Bridget. Faix, an' this is more catchin' than the shmall pox. 

Bob. How about you Bart? And Tom? 

Tom. Three's enough for once. Wait till next time, Bob. 

Bart. I'm waiting for Molly to make up her mind. 

Nap (dropping to knees in front of Bridget and speaking im- 
ploringly). Miss Bridget, would yo' take a real nice cullud gemman 
fo' bettah or worser? 

Bridget. For the love iv Mike! D'ye think I'd be takin' a 
naygur for me spouse whin me own Pat Murphy is waitin' for me to 
my the joj-ful word. Git awaj- from me, ye spalpeen! 

(Others laugh. Nat jumps to feet.) 

Nap. Say ! S'pose yo' folks don't drink to dat fifty-thousand 
dollahs, does yo'? 

Polly. Napoleon Bonaparte, if you don't keep still — 

Zeb. Fifty-thousand dollars? 

Hi. I thought they'd caught the woman that forged that check. 

Several, So'd I, etc. 

Della. Now please don't get suspicious again. I suppose we'll 
have to tell them, 

Polly. Yes. (To people). Do you remember when that de- 
tective was here? 
All. Yes, yes ! 

Polly, Well you remember, too, that our manager was here 
that same afternoon? 



POLLY AT SUNSHINE COTTAGE 27 

All. Yes, yes! 

Polly. Well, he not only proved our innocence in the forgery 
charge that day but he also made us happy by an offer of fifty-thou- 
sand dollar's apiece for an eight months run at the Alpha Opera 
House. 

Zeb. I SAvan! I certainly swan ! (Exclamations from others.) 

Molly. What do you think of witches now, Miss Wiggins? 

Em. I believe in 'em more'n ever only they seem to be workin' 
for good now instead of evil, 

Zeb. Something's workin' for good all right. 

Em. But there's one thing I would like to know — an' that's 
how you girls an' Bobby got to be such good friends. 

Bob. May I tell them, Polly? 

Polly. Yes, you may tell them now. 

Bob. Well, you see, we were bathing on the beach last summer — 

Polly. Strangers, then of course. 

Bob. When all at once I got beyond my depths and would have 
drowned had they not come to my rescue. Gee! but they're good 
swimmers. I owe my life to them. 

Polly. Our early experiences taught us the need of learning to 
swim and to be at home in the water. 

TiSHY. My dear girl, I thank you more than I can say. Bobby 
never told me about it before. 

Nap (suddenly rushing toward front of stage with hands over 
ears and shaking violently) . Oh Lawdy massy ! I'se plumb skeered 
to deaf! Oh Lawdy massy! 

Several. What's the matter now? Another spasm? 

Nap. 'Tain't no spasm — deed it ain't. It's dem hants. Can't 
yo' hear 'em groanin' an' a moanin'? (Sound of branch switching 
across a piece of tin.) Listen! Dar it goes agin I I'se been hearin' 
it all summer long jes' lak dat. Oh Lawdy! 

Zeb. Take it easy. Napoleon. I've discovered the "hant" an' 
I'll fix it tomorrow so 'twon't bother ye no more. 

Bella. What is it, Mr. Spooner? 

Zeb. Nothin' but a branch of that old apple tree scrapin' against 
the tin gutters of the house as the wind blows it back an' forth. 
There it goes again. Hear it? 

Em. That's jest what 'tis sure enough. 

Nap. Oh golly! I'se a happy niggah case dar ain't no hants— 
dar ain't no hants. (Dances about stage.) 

Hi. Napoleon's not the only happy one here tonight. 

Others. We're all happy— 

Bob. For the spell of the evil spirits is broken— 

Polly. And happiness reigns supreme over "Sunshine Cottage." 

(The chorus of one of the preceding songs may be sung as — ) 

Curtain Falls 



THE BUGBEE ENTERTAINMENTS 

ARE FAVORITES EVERYWHERE 

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THE WILLIS N. BUGBEE CO., SYRACUSE, N. Y. 




THE BUGBEE ENTI , ,,, ^ ^ ^ , 

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THE WILLIS N. BUGBEE CO., SYRACUSE, N. Y. : 



